I'm Back!

Google doesn't hate me!

I'm back to the blogosphere after a 3 month hiatus thanks to Google. It seems there was a period of time when the Internet giant wouldn't let Blogger users sign in without a Google account, but that time appears to be over.

Things aren't too different in my life. I'm still with Lawyer Boy. We've been together for 8 whole months now ... very hard to believe how fast time flies.

I'm still working as a reporter for a medium market television news station. Starting to love the job more and more every single day. I had no idea work could be so much fun.

Stay tuned for more updates in the coming days ... it's good to be back! Oh, and check out my latest adventure--urban gardening. Read all about it here http://thebalconista.blogspot.com/2010/04/welcome-to-my-garden.html

The Year Without a Christmas

Oh, the joys of living in South Dakota. Up until two weeks ago, I was at peace with the idea of missing Christmas with my family this year. Then the boss man gave me Dec. 23 and 24 off, and I experienced one of many holiday miracles this year. Until Snowmaggedon 2009 came into the picture.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

It seems few in my state will get to have their families with them for the holiday. A storm is moving into the Midwest that the National Weather Service is describing as "once in a quarter century". The weather guys are predicting at least a foot of snow in Sioux Falls, with 18 inches possible.

All that fluffy stuff isn't even here yet, and travel is nearly impossible already. After making myself literally sick trying to decide whether or not to try and go home anyway. Getting there wasn't going to be a problem, it was the getting back on Friday in time to anchor (and produce) the 5 p.m. news.

I decided to try, but after text arguments with coworkers on the way and the realization that my plan was completely unfeasible, I had a panic attack in the car near Chamberlain and was in tears when I walked into my parents' front door last night.

During the last 10 miles of my drive, I decided I would stay in Winner overnight, and then come back to Sioux Falls this morning. We had a mini-Christmas last night, and I still got the joy of watching almost everyone open their gifts. Surprisingly, I was okay with having to leave and miss actual Christmas when I woke up this morning. I guess I just needed time with my family, even if it was just for 12 hours.

Future Problems

Before I left, we had tentatively planned on me coming back to Winner Saturday night (since I have Sunday and Monday off) to have a late Christmas, ideally with Julie and Mike. But, the storm warnings have been extended into Sunday morning now, so that plan is probably a no go as well.

Just getting to work has me concerned. We had about 6 inches of snow a couple weeks ago, and my Kia Spectra drove like a Mario Kart on non-plowed streets. With the possibility of more than 12 inches on the roads, I have worries for Friday ... and Saturday. Reporting will be a huge problem; getting sound will likely be impossible. We'll have to get some video, and all the shows will likely be all about the weather, but it'll be rough getting enough of the video.

Cabin Fever Sets In

None of my own work worries come into play until Friday morning. Until then, I'm trapped in my apartment ... by myself. I'm pretty bored already. I have the first season of friends, and projects I can work on, more than anything, I don't like that staying in isn't my choice. Boo.

We're how far into November?

Today someone at work exclaimed that he couldn't believe it would be December 1 in a week. That means I will have my three month anniversary with my news station in one week. ... and my four month anniversary with the boyfriend the same day. It's a bit of a milestone.

Issues, issues...

I did make it in to see a doctor after spending that fateful Saturday in bed, convinced I was dying. It took my doctor just a few minutes to diagnose a stomach ulcer, most likely caused by a bacterial infection. I was promptly prescribed two different antibiotics and something described as "Super Prilosec".

In the meantime, I've finished off the prescriptions (which made me quite nauseous for 8 days) and am almost done with the acid reducer. I'm not entirely sure my stomach has healed, but I need it to. The doctor said if these pills didn't do the trick, then my ulcer wasn't caused by a bacterial infection. If that's the case, I have to have an endoscopy, and I don't really think I can afford that right now. Not even with the three days worth of holiday pay.

Some of ulcer side-effects haven't gone away yet, either. I still get dizzy on a daily basis, and I've been battling some serious migraines. I had one so bad last night the boy thought initially I might have had meningitis. Luckily, that was a misdiagnosis.

I need this stomach thing to go away ... soon. I have had a lot of difficulty focusing at work, and I accomplish practically nothing when I get home from work because I'm so tired and have stomach pain. A prime example is my Christmas tree--it took me two days to decorate it because I had to go to bed last night with a migraine. Fail.

Holiday Heartache

In just two days, I will reach another milestone--my first Thanksgiving away from home. Granted, my family will be here, so it's not like I won't see them. That big day will be Christmas. I'm excited about anchoring, but I can already tell I'll be a little homesick and blue. The boy will be hours away the whole weekend with his family, so I'm already a little down about not seeing him until the end of next week.

I'm also a little blue about working nine days in a row because of the holiday shake up. Of course, I did just get four out of the last five days off, but still, it's hard to keep my chin up knowing how high the wall I'm scaling will be. I'll get through it--four of those nine days are the equivalent to weekend shifts, which are rather relaxing--but, it's a tough idea to wrap my head around.

If I'm already this blue about Thanksgiving, I can't imagine how I'll be at Christmas. I won't see any of my family on the big day, and I definitely won't see the boyfriend. And the roommate is going to see her family right around then, so I will most likely be flying solo that day/weekend. I'm not trying to be downer about work--I'm just crabby. I think it's this headache I've got again tonight. It's not quite as bad as last night's, but it is very reminiscent. I just keep hoping that one of these days, I'll wake up and feel healthy and whole again.

On the job...

I also want to wake up and feel good about myself as a reporter. I just keep failing at different things at work. As soon as I correct one mistake and feel good about my progress, it is brought to my attention that something else needs my care and attention. I just need one story (preferably two) where everything just comes together and I get it all right. And I need someone to notice and say something. Not that I'm shallow enough to need compliments, but I need something to bring my self-confidence back. Maybe I am that shallow :)

I love my job, I really do, but there are always going to be days I don't like. That's what I told a friend tonight who called because he applied for an open reporter position with my station. I was honest with him about some of the things he wouldn't like, but I gushed about the things he would love. He deserved a real look at what he might be getting into, and luckily I don't think I scared him away.

Tomorrow is day two of the nine in a row. I will be finished both parts of my sweeps series about holiday toys, and I may have another package to put together on top of that. I've been promised a photographer to help me edit both sweeps packages, and if I can have him for the other story, I know I can pull it off. It just might be a longer day than usual is all. It will all get done though :)

Yay for Improvements!

Things have gotten much better at the station since my last post, as well as in my life-in-general...

Work, work, work...

My writing has much improved since that moment of embarrassment we last spoke of. I've made it a point to go out of my way to give my stories that little something extra (whether or not I've wanted to), and the extra effort does show up in my work. One of my stories about the H1N1 flu the week after I last wrote was requested for use by the national network. Who knows if any of the other affiliates actually used it, but it's nice to know it was wanted by someone.

The sad part about that whole newsroom shaming is that I should've been putting forth this much effort the whole time. It shouldn't have taken a chewing-out to light a fire under me. I guess we all need something to motivate us, I guess; it just sucks that this is what I need.

I found out this week that I won't get any of the major holidays--Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years--off this year, but I will get to do some more anchoring for them. I guess it's bittersweet because I'm flattered that myself and the weekend anchor will be splitting the shows, but it's also sad because I will be missing those days with Tessa. I know she probably won't remember this year when she's 11 or 12, but she'll remember that I wasn't there for awhile, anyway.

I'm going home for my own version of Thanksgiving break next week, but who knows when I'll get to do my own Christmas. News Years I'm not as concerned about since I've never really done anything to celebrate it before. On the bright side, three days of holiday pay will help pay for those extra expenses that come up.

Too Soon for Christmas?

As usual, these few weeks between Halloween and Thanksgiving give me some level of stress, just in trying to decide when it's okay to start decorating for Christmas, to switch to the Christmas ringtone, etc. When I go home next week, I plan to pick up my tree and bring it back to Sioux Falls. How long do I let it stay in the box before I put it up? How soon do we need to get our Christmas card picture taken? When is it okay to start Christmas shopping? So many questions...

Tummy Aches

Today is a sick day. I've been battling some tummy troubles for the past couple weeks, but when I woke up this morning, the pain was at it's worst. I was dealing with a mix of nausea and sharp, stabby pains in my abdomen. After laying awake for a couple hours, I finally decided to call in sick to work. Luckily, today is football playoffs, so the anchor didn't need a whole lot of time devoted to news, but I still feel like I left her high and dry, without a lead story.

Research leads toward the diagnosis of a stomach ulcer, but I'm just not sure if I'm ready to go out of denial yet. At least, I wasn't sure until I woke up today. Now I've decided I'm going to try and see a doctor while I'm home on Thursday. Who knows what he'll have to say--it's probably nothing , and I'm wasting money on an office call, but at least I'll have the peace of mind in knowing it's nothing but a crazy digestive system.

Looking ahead...

The next few weeks look to be rather uneventful, aside from my trip home next week and a possible visit from my family for Thanksgiving. The idea of everyone coming to Sioux Falls and going out to dinner is still on the table, but I think it'll all depend on which shows I have to anchor since Dad has to be back in Winner to open the store the next day for Black Friday. It'd be nice to see them all, but who knows what that week will bring.

Frustrations, frustrations...

I have writer's block ... sort of. It only seems to happen when I'm at work, crunched for time. And it's not so much writer's block--I always get a script pounded out and a package put together--as it is writing well.

Job Fail

I'm not the only one who's noticing my mediocre reporting. The male anchor was not pleased with my writing at all today. Even though we both knew I was crunched for time, he felt that today was a good day to get on me about it.

I won't make excuses or try and win over any sympathy by telling you what I did with the rest of my day, but I will say it all came down to time. I knew what my deadline was, and after getting my package assignment at 1 p.m., I knew what I had time for. I knew getting just one interview was lazy and made for a boring story, but I made the decision that a boring story done on time was better than not having my story done.

Of course I cringed a little when he called me back to his desk to go over my script, and I knew everything he had to say about it was right. The writing was shoddy and having just the one interview really did make for boring television.

It was hard to listen to because I knew the whole time I wasn't giving the station my best work. I didn't put up any argument at all. I felt so bad about what I did--not so much what he said--that I just wanted to crumple up at my desk in tears, but alas, I had to go live at 5 from the studio in 45 minutes and have the package done by 6.

Now what?

It all got done and looked fine, but just fine. My stomach hurt the whole time I was editing because I knew what I was creating was crap. Filler. Basic. And I'm better than that! Or, at least, I used to be. I think. Maybe I've always been this bad, but people were impressed because even this bad was impressive for a student reporter.

I couldn't even watch the news when I got home from work. I didn't even watch a single thing on my station in case I accidentally caught one of the updates. I normally love watching our show, but today I just couldn't do it.

Bad Feelings

I still feel awful. I know I've been doing so poorly the past few weeks, and it kills me that I keep disappointing the people I look up to. Both anchors have tons of news experience, and are very, very, very good at their jobs. I know at some point they were beginners too, but I have a hard time believing they were ever this bad.

I'm not entirely sure how to get better. I thought I was following the tips the anchor sent me last week for writing memorable stories, but apparently I'm not. I want to get better, I can't even explain how badly I want to improve, but I don't know how. I know who I can ask--the anchors or our news director--but by the time they come into work, it's already crunch time, and when all my work is finished, they're in the middle in the show and I have to get out of there before I go over hours for the day.

Keep Trying

I still have my old books from advanced reporting; I think I'll start there. I know Paul has a DVD with regional Emmy winners' stories--I'm going to ask to borrow it so I can improve my editing and writing.

I just want to get something right in the coming weeks. Well, not so much to just get it right, but to have someone tell me I got it right. Because, honestly, some of the things I thought I was doing right, I'm questioning at this point. A little positive reinforcement certainly wouldn't hurt anything right now, but I have to earn it.

TGIF

Thank goodness today was my Friday. I'm not sure I could show my face there again tomorrow. Paychecks come in tomorrow, but I'm going to wait until I go back to work on Saturday to get mine. No amount of money could get me to go to the station tomorrow.

I'm going to Vermillion tomorrow evening to spend a few days with Lawyer Boy. I really need to out of this town for a little while and just escape. It's hard to believe it's only six weeks into my career, and I've already hit a brick wall.

I guess if worse comes to worse, I can always email my old advisor for help, but I'm not quite sure I'm ready to swallow my pride yet...

Summer Pictures!

Here are a few photos from the summer that was ... as always, a little late, but better than never. Ribfest--Sioux Falls in May

Lacey's girls--Brookings in August

Dancing at Club David--August

Lacey's Bachelorette--Sioux Falls in July

The Mann family--Winner in August

Julie and her maids--Winner in August

Julie and Mike making it legal

Audrey made it to Winner!

Sleep Is Over Rated

Oh, how I miss my bed. The past few weeks have been wonderfully challenging, but I'm ready to get back into a regular routine.

Stay up late, wake up early...

I haven't been back in the business for long, but boy am I getting a wide array of experience. Normally, I work Saturday-Wednesday during the day. But, with people taking vacation time before sweeps starts up again, I've spent some time behind the anchor desk.

A few weeks ago, I filled in for the weekend anchor/producer, and I will do that again this weekend. This week, I filled in for the morning anchor/producer for three days. I had a blast with the morning show. I've always wanted to anchor a morning show, and it was nice to know that I still want to reach that goal.

I will admit, I'm exhausted. Work begins on the morning show dark and early, at 2 a.m., which means I should've been going to bed around 5 p.m. each night. Needless to say, that didn't happen any night. Naps have been an essential part of my life this week.

As much fun as I've had anchoring, I must say, I love producing. It's like putting together a puzzle--such fun! I'll be sad to be done with the new responsibilities, but I am looking forward to having a normal schedule/life again.

Sweeps is coming up, and until yesterday, I was struggling to come up with story ideas. I now have two to pitch, and I'm looking forward to the challenge. Sort of--the whole idea of putting together such a complex piece(s) is rather daunting.

Life with a boy...

Things with Lawyer Boy are great. I really couldn't be happier with how our relationship is going, and I'm going to continue to hope I don't screw anything up. The next few weeks will be a test for us, as he has midterms and big projects due, and I tend to get obnoxious ... Hopefully, I can be the sweet, patient girlfriend he'll need me to be. We shall see...

Missing old things...

Hearing my sister and boyfriend complain about homework and midterms has me missing the college life. Don't get me wrong--I am thoroughly enjoying life in Sioux Falls and having my career. But, certain things can't be replaced, like the smell of Coughlin Stadium before football games, naps after class, midweek Morgans at Jim's Tap, and the buildup to Hobo Day.

Sadly, I won't get to attend a Jackrabbit's favorite holiday this year, even though I live a mere 55 miles away. We don't have a Monday-Friday reporter, so switching days to get the weekend off is nearly impossible for me. Plus, I'm trying to stick to the schedule for now as part of my master plan to earn Christmas off.