Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Frustrations, frustrations...

I have writer's block ... sort of. It only seems to happen when I'm at work, crunched for time. And it's not so much writer's block--I always get a script pounded out and a package put together--as it is writing well.
Job Fail
I'm not the only one who's noticing my mediocre reporting. The male anchor was not pleased with my writing at all today. Even though we both knew I was crunched for time, he felt that today was a good day to get on me about it.
I won't make excuses or try and win over any sympathy by telling you what I did with the rest of my day, but I will say it all came down to time. I knew what my deadline was, and after getting my package assignment at 1 p.m., I knew what I had time for. I knew getting just one interview was lazy and made for a boring story, but I made the decision that a boring story done on time was better than not having my story done.
Of course I cringed a little when he called me back to his desk to go over my script, and I knew everything he had to say about it was right. The writing was shoddy and having just the one interview really did make for boring television.
It was hard to listen to because I knew the whole time I wasn't giving the station my best work. I didn't put up any argument at all. I felt so bad about what I did--not so much what he said--that I just wanted to crumple up at my desk in tears, but alas, I had to go live at 5 from the studio in 45 minutes and have the package done by 6.
Now what?
It all got done and looked fine, but just fine. My stomach hurt the whole time I was editing because I knew what I was creating was crap. Filler. Basic. And I'm better than that! Or, at least, I used to be. I think. Maybe I've always been this bad, but people were impressed because even this bad was impressive for a student reporter.
I couldn't even watch the news when I got home from work. I didn't even watch a single thing on my station in case I accidentally caught one of the updates. I normally love watching our show, but today I just couldn't do it.
Bad Feelings
I still feel awful. I know I've been doing so poorly the past few weeks, and it kills me that I keep disappointing the people I look up to. Both anchors have tons of news experience, and are very, very, very good at their jobs. I know at some point they were beginners too, but I have a hard time believing they were ever this bad.
I'm not entirely sure how to get better. I thought I was following the tips the anchor sent me last week for writing memorable stories, but apparently I'm not. I want to get better, I can't even explain how badly I want to improve, but I don't know how. I know who I can ask--the anchors or our news director--but by the time they come into work, it's already crunch time, and when all my work is finished, they're in the middle in the show and I have to get out of there before I go over hours for the day.
Keep Trying
I still have my old books from advanced reporting; I think I'll start there. I know Paul has a DVD with regional Emmy winners' stories--I'm going to ask to borrow it so I can improve my editing and writing.
I just want to get something right in the coming weeks. Well, not so much to just get it right, but to have someone tell me I got it right. Because, honestly, some of the things I thought I was doing right, I'm questioning at this point. A little positive reinforcement certainly wouldn't hurt anything right now, but I have to earn it.
TGIF
Thank goodness today was my Friday. I'm not sure I could show my face there again tomorrow. Paychecks come in tomorrow, but I'm going to wait until I go back to work on Saturday to get mine. No amount of money could get me to go to the station tomorrow.
I'm going to Vermillion tomorrow evening to spend a few days with Lawyer Boy. I really need to out of this town for a little while and just escape. It's hard to believe it's only six weeks into my career, and I've already hit a brick wall.
I guess if worse comes to worse, I can always email my old advisor for help, but I'm not quite sure I'm ready to swallow my pride yet...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Summer Pictures!



Here are a few photos from the summer that was ... as always, a little late, but better than never. Ribfest--Sioux Falls in May


Lacey's girls--Brookings in August



Dancing at Club David--August

Lacey's Bachelorette--Sioux Falls in July


The Mann family--Winner in August

Julie and her maids--Winner in August

Julie and Mike making it legal

Audrey made it to Winner!



Sleep Is Over Rated

Oh, how I miss my bed. The past few weeks have been wonderfully challenging, but I'm ready to get back into a regular routine.
Stay up late, wake up early...
I haven't been back in the business for long, but boy am I getting a wide array of experience. Normally, I work Saturday-Wednesday during the day. But, with people taking vacation time before sweeps starts up again, I've spent some time behind the anchor desk.
A few weeks ago, I filled in for the weekend anchor/producer, and I will do that again this weekend. This week, I filled in for the morning anchor/producer for three days. I had a blast with the morning show. I've always wanted to anchor a morning show, and it was nice to know that I still want to reach that goal.
I will admit, I'm exhausted. Work begins on the morning show dark and early, at 2 a.m., which means I should've been going to bed around 5 p.m. each night. Needless to say, that didn't happen any night. Naps have been an essential part of my life this week.
As much fun as I've had anchoring, I must say, I love producing. It's like putting together a puzzle--such fun! I'll be sad to be done with the new responsibilities, but I am looking forward to having a normal schedule/life again.
Sweeps is coming up, and until yesterday, I was struggling to come up with story ideas. I now have two to pitch, and I'm looking forward to the challenge. Sort of--the whole idea of putting together such a complex piece(s) is rather daunting.
Life with a boy...
Things with Lawyer Boy are great. I really couldn't be happier with how our relationship is going, and I'm going to continue to hope I don't screw anything up. The next few weeks will be a test for us, as he has midterms and big projects due, and I tend to get obnoxious ... Hopefully, I can be the sweet, patient girlfriend he'll need me to be. We shall see...
Missing old things...
Hearing my sister and boyfriend complain about homework and midterms has me missing the college life. Don't get me wrong--I am thoroughly enjoying life in Sioux Falls and having my career. But, certain things can't be replaced, like the smell of Coughlin Stadium before football games, naps after class, midweek Morgans at Jim's Tap, and the buildup to Hobo Day.
Sadly, I won't get to attend a Jackrabbit's favorite holiday this year, even though I live a mere 55 miles away. We don't have a Monday-Friday reporter, so switching days to get the weekend off is nearly impossible for me. Plus, I'm trying to stick to the schedule for now as part of my master plan to earn Christmas off.